


gordon is dying

by Anonymous



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Bubble Bath, funeral for gordon but he's still alive, implied sex, implied tommy/benrey/gordon, joking about attempted murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:33:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26429443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Oh shit. Gordon’s the only human...what the fuck do humans do?
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59
Collections: Anonymous





	gordon is dying

**Author's Note:**

> This came from the idea in that server...if you want credit lemme know.

They were late to brunch. 

Bubby scoffed and checked his watch. They were more than late. It was like the event had already finished 3 hours ago.

“Eh, I don’t think they’re coming,” Bubby said, slamming his 7th coffee cup on the table and crossing his arms. 

“Don’t worry about it, dear, I’m sure they will come soon!” Coomer said, patting Bubby’s thigh. “Why would they ever miss the Science Team Awesome Brunch or in other words, STAB?!”

“Did you just come up with that?” Bubby said, laughing as he playfully punched Coomer’s shoulder. Coomer grinned and Bubby cleared his throat after wiping away a tear. “I do want to stab them though. For real. For making us wait.”

With that said, Tommy burst through the door, face slightly flustered with Benrey trailing after him. He sat down, exasperated, and grabbed the menu in an attempt to obscure his face which was steadily growing redder each passing moment. 

“S-sorry we’re late! We got caught-” Tommy started, slamming the menu on the table to wave his hands around to explain.

“Tommy, where’s Gordon?” Coomer asked, cutting Tommy off. At the mention of Gordon, Tommy paled. 

“He’s...sick,” Benrey said hesitantly as if he was trying to remember something. He looked at Coomer’s fries, ate one, and then asked if he could “have one, please?”

“Oh, bullshit,” Bubby said, calling them out on their bullshit. Tommy let out a little squeak, picking up the menu again and burying his face further into it. 

“Heylookatthismenuitemidon’tknowwhatpancakesarei’veneverhad-” Tommy spouted out, rapid speed, in a poor attempt to change the subject before Bubby cut him off. 

“Gordon being sick? He probably got pounded so hard he can’t walk.” Bubby finished, a complacent smile on his face as he crossed his arms and sat back, satisfied. “Just look at Benrey’s shit-eating grin. Fucker musta done something.”

“You’re close-” Benrey started before a frantic Tommy kicked him from under the table in an attempt to discreetly get him to stop. 

“Ow,” Benrey said, blowing the poor attempt at a cover-up. Coomer raised an eyebrow, looking for an explanation from Tommy which he knew was going to be complete bullshit. It’d be interesting to see what the scientific prodigy came up with. Maybe this time it would involve quantum mechanics. 

“It’s, uh, Interesting. That you use, uh, the word “pounded” because that’s close to what happened. We happened to go to a bank and Gordon was there and you know how banks have pounds?” Tommy said, matter factly, regaining some composure.

“We’re in America. The banks here don’t have pounds.” Bubby said. Tommy’s composure was no longer there.

“I, oh- uh, umm,” Tommy said, using as many filler words as he could to come up with a response. However, he didn’t need to come up with a response because Benrey, unfortunately, came to the rescue and proceeded to dig their grave further. 

“We pounded him! In- Into the ground like street fighters,” Benrey said, balling his hands up into fists and putting them into a fighter pose. Coomer responded by trying to hit Benrey and they got into a brawl over the table. 

Benrey had successfully distracted Coomer from the issue but that still left Bubby. Bubby cleared his throat and Tommy slowly turned away from the fight towards Bubby, making eye contact with Bubby’s glasses-colored eyes.

“We. Uh. We, uh, murdered, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, confessing to a crime he never committed. Bubby stared for a moment before cracking up. Tommy nervously laughed along. 

A light fixture fell from the ceiling due to Benrey’s and Coomer’s fight. They were dumbasses.

\---

“So, how did it go?” Gordon asked, cocking his head towards Tommy as he and Benrey entered the house. 

“Well, uh, we told them that we…” Tommy trailed, fumbling with his hands. Gordon felt his soul break off slightly.

“Benrey. I swear if you- I am going to kill you if you said anything about last night-” Gordon started, starting to get up but opting to glare at Benrey from the couch. 

“Uh!” Tommy said, interrupting Gordon and snapping the attention back to him. “I didn’t finish yet!”

“Okay?”

“Benrey was a good boy and he didn’t say anything!” 

“So, why are you so flustered, Tommy?”

“Well, we told them that we- That we murdered you,” Tommy said. Gordon blinked, confused. 

“So, what now? Are you going to fucking murder me now?” Gordon said, half-joking. 

“Yeah, watch this.” Benrey piped up, not joking. Benrey lunged toward the couch laughing as he tackled Gordon who tried to scramble backward. They fell to the ground, Gordon landing with a hard ‘oof’ and even harder groan. 

“Oh, shit, you okay?” Benrey said as Tommy picked him up off of Gordon like a kitten. 

“No? You literally tackled me to the ground? And-” Gordon let out another groan, wrapping his hand around his stomach. It was clear he was in pain. 

“Oh, dear.” Tommy quietly said, placing Benrey down elsewhere and crouching down to help Gordon up. “Here I’ll- Let’s get you to the shower, maybe the heat will help? With the pain?”

Gordon nodded, looking at Tommy gratefully with tears in his eyes and glancing at Benrey in displeasure as Tommy led him away.

\---

The warm bath water did help ease the pain Gordon was feeling a bit. He was beginning to feel more relaxed as the warmth seeped into his body. He was grateful for Tommy for setting up the bath and helping him into it. Gordon cracked his eyes open, looking at the blurry bubbles in the tub. 

It was a nice, warm bubble bath. 

“You doing alright, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy piped up, coming back from putting away the bubble bath bubble formula. 

“Yeah, thank you, Tommy,” Gordon said, scooping up some of the bubbles in his hands to play with. “But, I gotta ask, why the candles?”

There were a bunch of tea light lit candles placed around the bathtub. Was this supposed to be romantic or something? When Gordon saw the candles he half-expected to see rose petals too. 

“Uh-” Tommy glanced down at the little candles around the bathtub as if he forgot he put them there. “The warmth? And the ‘add more excitement and fear to make you relax’ part too?” 

Gordon nodded, realizing that the candles technically trapped him in the bubble bath. Well, it wasn’t like he was going to leave anytime soon plus the flames were flickering pretty and it did provide some warmth. 

“But, uh” Tommy started, trailing off soon after.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Gordon asked, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

“Can I- May I wash your hair?” Tommy asked, leaning forwards slightly in expectant excitement. The request was slightly unexpected but Gordon thought about it a bit more. Maybe Tommy felt bad for this whole situation and wanted to do something for him, care for him. Though, it seemed like Tommy also just liked to play with his hair. When they would cuddle, Tommy would always gently comb his long fingers through Gordon’s hair. Tommy also would softly tug on Gordon’s hair in a painful slightly yet pleasurable way when they would-- Eh, it wouldn’t hurt to let Tommy wash his hair. 

“Uh, sure,” Gordon said, hastily after realizing he had been zoning out a bit. Tommy made a happy sound, flapping his hands slightly as he carefully settled behind Gordon. 

Tommy set to work, scooping the warm water from the tub onto Gordon’s hair. Gordon flinched a bit as the water quickly cooled against his head but was quickly reassured when he felt the heat from Tommy’s hands slightly warm it up. 

Gordon felt the liquid shampoo settle on his head like a comforting weight. Tommy then brushed his hands through Gordon’s hair, lathering it up as Tommy hummed some made-up tune. His long fingers scratched against his skull lightly causing Gordon to shiver slightly from the sensation as it was comfortable.

He felt Tommy’s two fingers gently yet firmly tap on the top of his skull repeatedly and Gordon shuttered again slightly as the feeling was good but the sensation danced through his body as play-doh flows through one of those play-doh spaghetti making toys. Whether Tommy was tapping to consider what he was going to do next or not, it was the same spot where Gordon usually did EFT tapping for his anxiety. 

Gorden let out a deep sigh, slightly leaning back as he let all his muscles relax. Tommy was doing good since Gordon’s brain practically turned to mush beneath Tommy’s hands. Gordon could let his brain turn to mush around Tommy as he knew that Tommy would take care of him and never hurt him. 

As he felt the water run down his head again, he felt Tommy’s fingers run through his hair helping the soap out. Gordon gave a happy hum, feeling the water run down his shoulders like a river always flows down the same path. 

Tommy slid his hands down from Gordon’s head to his shoulders, sloshing off some of the water like that too. He worked his thumbs into Gordon’s back, giving him a massage. 

“This- This is nice,” Gordon spoke up a little surprised at how soft and quiet his voice sounded. He heard Tommy give out a small chuckle and Gordon could feel the smile radiating from Tommy. Tommy leaned forwards slightly, scooped some bubbles from the bath on his finger, and playfully placed it on Gordon’s nose.

Gordon laughed a bit, blushing slightly. The action said ‘I love you’ in a million different ways. Gordon felt a million different neurons fire in his brain and heart in a way that the simple phrase of ‘I love you’ would have never caused. It was moments like these where actions spoke more than words. 

\----

Gordon was now on the bed, the aching pain in his body slightly dulled but still present. He was still mad at Benrey a bit but Benrey seemed to make up for it by obeying Gordon’s orders to bring him food, water and brush his hair since he was still clearly bedridden. 

“I’m too fucking old to deal with this shit,” Gordon grumbled as Benrey rubbed his back. “Goddamn it Berney”

“But, you liiiiiked it brooooo” Benrey said, giving a grin like the Cheshire cat.

“I’m not 18 anymore. I’ve got some limits, man.”

“That’s not what you said last night, bro.”

“I know, I know what I said, but you never should take that too seriously. Remember that I’m an old dude that doesn’t have that young of a body anymore,” Gordon said, waving his hand slightly. Yep, the ripe old age of 27. “Look! I can’t get up from a bed without your help now!” 

“You’re...27, you big baby.” 

“I- It’s still old,” Gordon said, pouting slightly. Benrey gave a scoff in disbelief. 

“I’ll maybe die in a few years. How do you know how long people live? You’re an alien.” Gordon said, joking about his imminent death. “Humans die really easily, you know? I’ll die from this probably.”

Benrey stopped rubbing Gordon’s back and thought about it. 

“Coomer’s old as shit. You’re fine.” Benrey said, resuming his task.

“Coomer is like ¾ robot.”

“Uh, Bubby is old too.” 

“He’s a clone,” Gordon said. Benrey started to panic slightly. Was human Gordon really old? Like, end of lifetime old? Benrey racked his mind for more evidence to contradict Gordon’s statement that he would die from this. 

“Tommy’s...a decade older than you!” 

“His father is an all-knowing being of this universe. He’s half-alien!” Gordon exclaimed. Benrey paled as he bit his lip as he thought about the implications.

“Oh my god...we, we gotta write your will,” Benrey said, in slight horror. He cracked a grin. “I call dibs on your laptop.” 

“You know what?” Gordon said jokily moving away from Benrey and turning to lie on his side. “Fuck you, leave me alone to die. If you’re like that I’ll leave all my things to the science team.”

Obeying Gordon, Benrey left panic rising in his chest. He went to where Tommy was seated in the kitchen and tapped his shoulder. 

“What’s wrong, Benrey?” Tommy asked, concern rising in his voice as he caught the major concern apparent on Benrey’s face. Benrey explained what was happening to Gordon, how he was going to die, and that they needed to set up a funeral soon. 

“But! Funerals are so expensive! Doesn't he know it’s a fortune to die??” Tommy exclaimed loudly. Benrey shushed him and drew their faces closer to whisper. 

“I don’t think humans can choose when they die,” Benrey whispered, holding Tommy’s head like an idiot sandwich. Tommy took a deep breath to try to calm himself down.

“Okay, uh, I’ll get the little cheese cracker snacks set up and you invite everyone okay?” Tommy said, placing his hands over Benrey’s. Benrey gave a determined nod and the two split up, working on their respective tasks. 

\---

Gordon woke up the next day, feeling like he was falling because he was falling. He tensed up, sitting up while he whipped his head around. 

“Ah, hello Gordon! I see operation ‘cremation’ was a failure!” Coomer said. Gordon looked around the room, seeing that he was in a coffin. He looked at Coomer and saw that besides him Bubby had a welding mask and a flamethrower. 

“Where AM I?! What’s going ON!? Is that- is that a FUCKING COFFIN?!” Gordon said, panicking. He grabbed onto Coomer’s shirt and pulled him close. “Are you TRYING to CREMATE me in my LIVING ROOM??” 

“Yes!” Coomer said gleefully. 

“I’m still alive!!” 

“You won’t be in 20 minutes!” Bubby piped up. He started to close the casket, Gordon still inside. “Now lemme do my job-”

Gordon jumped out of the casket, trying to stand up but failing and falling to the ground. He still wasn’t well. He groaned as he hit the ground and looked up expectantly as everyone. 

“You all suck. Fuc- Fucking help me!” Gordon said, on the ground. Benrey moved over towards Gordon as if to help and crouched down, clipboard and pen in hand.

“Here, sign this first, friend,” Benrey said, holding out the pen.

“Wuh- What’s this?” Gordon said, confused. 

“Your will,” Benrey said, prompting Gordon to groan in frustration. 

“Stand up yourself, Dr. Pussy.” Bubby said, unhelpfully. 

“Oh- oh I’d love to stand up myself but I-” Gordon started before pausing. “I, uh, threw my back out...lifting something.”

“I’ll help you, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, moving to help Gordon up. Benrey was cackling somewhere in the background. “I got some crackers and grapes for your funeral.” 

“You know what?” Gordon started as Tommy helped him up. Every bone in Gordon’s body was heard cracking. “I’m, I’m not talking to any of you...expect for Tommy.” 

Gordon grabbed his will from Benrey and walked out the door. Two minutes later, after falling off the porch, Gordon found himself back in his bed, everyone surrounding him in panic. Everything still hurts. He cracked his back again, hoping it would slightly help. 

“Oh god, all his bones are broken!” Bubby exclaimed in a panicked whisper.

“We, we, we, NEED to rush Mr. Freeman to the hospital! He’s dying!” Tommy exclaimed, debating whether to call an ambulance because those wee-woo machines are fucking expensive. 

“Guys...I’m fine…” Gordon murmured. Everyone ignored him.

“I’ve never cracked that much in my life! I am 100% certain that Gordon is dying on his deathbed!” Coomer claimed.

“What do you mean? It’s normal?” Gordon said, squinting his eyes in confusion.

“See? Look!” Gordon said, cracking his fingers. “It’s perfectly fine-” 

Bubby fainted in horror. Gordon blinked.

“Dr. Coomer you’re technically human, right? I swear- you remember it’s normal?” Gordon asked. 

“I disowned my humanity when I started to work at Black Mesa!” Coomer cried cheerfully. 

“...why?” Gordon asked, confused. Black Mesa never said he had to disown his humanity to work there.

“I was able to memorize the entirety of Wikipedia in exchange for my humanity!” Coomer said. Gordon gave a frustrated groan and threw himself on the bed, cracking his shoulder this time. The panic in the room only seemed to grow. 

There was a tepid knock on the door. Tommy went to open the door, revealing Darnold standing there. He was holding the funeral invitation in his hand and looked at the room in confusion. 

“This is the right place, right? I got this in my cereal box.” Darnold said, holding up the invitation to Gordon’s funeral. It was the movie poster for “All Dogs Go to Heaven 2” with the text “Freeman’s death is real!! :((“ in Comic Sans printed on a postcard-sized piece of paper. Tommy nodded, inviting him in.

“Sorry for your loss-” Darnold started before spotting Gordon on the bed, still clearly alive. “Oh, hi Dr. Freeman. Still with us? Why is your bed in the middle of the living room?” 

Gordon shrugged. 

“You know funerals are meant for dead people unless you’re planning to kill him right now,” Darnold stated, shifting uncomfortably. He did not want to be a witness at a murder scene. 

“But he’s dick- I mean sick but Gordos is a dick sometimes- and it means he’s dying” Benrey piped up. Darnold tilted his head in confusion. “And he’s gonna die because that’s what happens when you’re sick.” 

“Okay,” Darnold said, taking a deep breath. He restated everything he knew. “Dr. Freeman, he’s not dying, he’s just sick. Correlation doesn’t mean causation and just because you're sick doesn’t mean you have to die.” 

The group looked unconvinced so Darnold decided to try another approach. 

“Dr. Freeman, I have a basic knowledge of injuries so, if I may, I can check you out and see if you’re dying,” Darnold said. Gordon nodded and the science team stepped away from the bed. 

“I thought you were in the mixology department? Since when did you become a medical doctor?” Gordon asked as Darnold started observing him. 

“I used to work for the mixology department at the Gatorade company and all their employees are taught basic things about sports and injury so I have some knowledge on the subject of it,” Darnold said, before stepping back as he concluded the examination. 

“Guys, Dr. Freeman just pulled some muscles and got cramps. He will not DIE for it. He just needs his rest.” Darnold said. He caught out of the corner of his eye Bubby plotting to kill Gordon to give him his permanent rest, aka DEATH. “No, I don’t mean permanently.” 

However, Benrey only heard the word “die” in his full panic mode. 

“Isn’t- it’s that what pulled muscles?? That’s, like, not supposed to pull the muscles!!” Benrey rambled out. He turned and grabbed onto Tommy’s arms, shook him slightly, and said rather loudly: “We- we killed Gordon by fucking him too hard!” 

There was a silence through the room. Gordon’s face was beet red. Oh heavens, just let him die right now. 

Coomer handed Bubby $20. Coomer lost 20 dollars to Bubby when Benrey basically told Darnold that he and Tommy fucked Gordon senseless to the point he could barely walk for 3 days. 

“You won.” Coomer said to Bubby who did a silent cheer, letting out an ‘I fucking knew it’.

“Oh- oh dear,” Darnold said, his face completely red. He doesn’t even look at them, instead staring straight at the ground. “So, uh, please let him get his rest and, uh, may- maybe do a hot bath for him, Benrey, it will ease the pain a bit.” 

“So, uh, Gordon isn’t going to die?” Benrey said, releasing his grip from Tommy’s arms and turning towards Darnold to look up at him with his big ol’ eyes. Darnold nodded.

“Benrey, did- did you actually think I was going to die?” Gordon asked, slightly wheezing. 

“Mmm, yeah,” Benrey said. 

“Oh shit,” Gordon said, realizing the implications of his actions. “Damn, I’m so sorry Benrey, I was just joking but I took the joke too far. I didn’t mean for any of you to think I was dying.”

“‘M sorry for overreacting to your joke, I didn’t wanna lose you again like I almost did and killed you in Black Mesa,” Benrey said, twiddling his thumbs together. Gordon pulled Benrey into a hug and Benrey mumbled in Gordon’s ear: “I’ll fuck more sense out of you next time.”

“Uh, I’m- I think I’m going to leave now,” Darnold said, making his way to the door. “Have- Have fun at the funeral.” 

Then Gordon went to the hospital later for internal bleeding because celestial dick does some stuff to ya.


End file.
